he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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