You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize