so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
