Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i out mim tonsoeep
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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