I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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