...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
