i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
