The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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