Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
