Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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