Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
