Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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(517): View more from Michigan

let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?

(423): View more from Tennessee

I was emotionally compromised.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.

(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise

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