I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
