I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize