Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
COCAINE IS GR8
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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