GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
