p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
