he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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