I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize