Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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