after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's never too late to be topless.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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