You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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