physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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