We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
