Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
