well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
