haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
