We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
