A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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