dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
