But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
