It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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