And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I did not marry a roomba.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
