Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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