We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize