I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
