Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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