My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize