at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
