i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
