I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
