She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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