im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
