No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
