the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
