Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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