Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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