Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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