we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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