i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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