If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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