it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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