Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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