I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
