another moral hangover. fuck.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
