oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
