Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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