I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize