Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
