And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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